Can you survive an alien invasion based on your zodiac sign?
Should you see “No?” The answer is yes”.
Jordan Peele, the one with the golden touch and thought-provoking thrillers, is back with “No,” an alien invasion film slated for release on July 22.
Peele’s third feature as director follows two siblings grappling with the mysterious death of their father, the unruly behavior of their horses, and the presence of strange phenomena on their family’s ranch.
OJ, played by Daniel Kaluuya and his sister Emerald, played by Keke Palmer, attempt to document what they believe to be a UFO and publicity by Peele, clever mayhem and well-timed comedy ensue.
As a writer and director, Peele never fails to make us think, question and speculate and with “No” he inspired a bit of catastrophic planning and alien preparation among us.
In honor of his latest film, we take a look at each zodiac sign’s survival skills to determine who lives to see another sun rise, who dies trying, and who plays host, “Body Snatchers” style. , of the new wave of aliens. life. Keep reading to learn more.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Fearless and curious, Aries volunteers to negotiate with alien invaders. There’s heroic energy to drive people down and whether they go with guns or wagging tongues, they’re the first to make contact and go into shock for absolutely no one, the first to die.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Hard-working but slow-moving, a Taurus will never run, but in the event of an imminent invasion, bulls can be counted on to take shelter in their well-stocked and well-appointed underground bunkers.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Ruled by the planet of communications, Gemini is the resident linguist and talker of the zodiac. Quite rightly, they are the first to decode and become fluent in the foreign language, which gives them an advantage as translators and the possibility of becoming, potentially and probably, traitors.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
In astrology, Cancer represents the archetype of the mother and the crabs survive, in a way, by offering their bodies as hosts. Crabs are generally insular, petulant, defensive, and difficult to read, so most people won’t be able to tell the difference.
Astrology 101: Your Guide to the Stars
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
As the royal lionheart of the zodiac and the sign who best understands the power of public relations, Leo extends the olive branch of diplomacy to alien invaders and offers to provide “Mars Attacks”-style media training. They die, but not before the photo shoot.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
After reading the collected works of Cormac McCarthy, H. P. Lovecraft, and L. Ron Hubbard, Virgo has long been preparing for the grid to collapse, the plague to fall, and/or aliens to invade. This earth sign survives on honed skill and the nectar of being right all along.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Libras are notoriously shy of ugly truths and are unerringly inert in times of crisis. So, at the start of the alien invasion, this cardinal air sign appears and repeats the phrase “everything is fine”, until they die of indecision.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Ruled by Pluto, planet of sex, death, and regeneration, Scorpios are designed to survive at all costs and are willing to go to great, terrible depths to achieve this. Not above mating with the enemy or subjecting themselves to strange experiments, Scorpios still live to fight and fuck another day.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Always open to travel, intergalactic or otherwise, Sagittarius survives by volunteering for abduction. Their unflinching optimism and endless parade of bad jokes make them the target of anger and murder plots among their fellow inmates.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Built to last and enterprising as always, Capricorns survive and thrive by playing the long game. Skilled in trade and outwitting the enemy, they will seduce aliens with booze and barter for their lives with a stash of bath salts. , board games and electric toothbrushes.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
All Aquarians are aliens, so no problem here.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Empathy knows no bounds, galactic or otherwise, and Pisces uses their compassion as a kind of weapon, inviting alien invaders into a circle of trust to explore. Why they feel they need to conquer and control in order to feel seen and valued.
Astrologer Reda Wigle irreverently studies and reports planetary configurations and their effect on each sign of the zodiac. His horoscopes incorporate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as chronicling many of her experiences on her travels. Among the many intriguing topics she’s covered are graveyard etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs, and the “weirdest” foods. available abroad.